Her Light.

She slumps down in her corner, with knees bent to her chin,
and wonders why, she cannot win
The acceptance of her peers, and society as a whole.
In her darkness, she's desolate,
Trapped,
Against her wall.......... Segregated from all!

Her darkness towers over her, gathered around,
Looks down upon, and screams, "It's yours we have found".
"Your path mapped out, much like us"
"No thinking, nor dreaming, no such fuss".

She stays slumped in her corner, too tired to fight,
She looks around, and notices her shining light.

Her darkness stands startled,
Threatened, and shocked.
Despite her light, their disapproval remains locked.

Her darkness sees her follow that darkness that surrounds,
As another beam of light knocks them down..
The lights power is much greater, a glory to see..
It's magical, and alluring..
Angelic, like she.

Triggered by her light, she musters up her brawn,
and wrestles them to that corner,
They're now blocked by that wall......... Where they fall.

"PLEASE"
She begs, "Let me be",
"The unique beauty that is ME".
"My path is different, allow me to lose myself",
"In the adventure, the exploration.. Of life.."............. "Of self!"

"Accept my point of difference, do not corner or segregate"..
"Don't leave me in fear, or desolate".

They are now in awe of her wonder,
They accept, and embrace..
Her darkness no longer..
It's their own, that they face.

She picks them up from their corner,
where they slump against their wall,
Their darkness subsides, their fear is no more..

Of the light, the glory, that is uniquely..

HER!

Real Beauty

Sitting on my bench with my hands clutching a pair of dumbbells I psych myself up to do another mean set. I scan the crowd of gym goers and my eyes are momentarily locked on a ruggedly sculptured man. My once captured eyes continue scanning to be confronted with a regular sight. The same crowd who congregate at the gym daily, and sometimes twice daily in pursuit of the body beautiful.

 I watch them step in front of the mirror as they examine their body centimetre by centimetre. I can see their brain obsessively ticking over. If I could delve inside their thoughts I would know that they were telling themselves “not good enough”, “not skinny enough”, and “not attractive enough”. I then see them enviously look at others. Unbeknownst to the others, their own competition with them begins.

Onto the treadmill they march where they torture themselves, painfully nearing collapse. Their own  gruelling punishment in pursuit of the body beautiful.

Some people associate physical beauty with confidence and as such will seek it out the only way they know how. A military style regimented “no pain, no gain" approach to diet and exercise. With no rest in their strive for confidence.

Every "body” is human, every “body” requires regular rest (inclusive of athletes), and every “body” requires balanced nourishment.

There is no exception.

Given my own past history I can easily observe these traits in people. Looking back into my distant past, that gloomy cloud had me blindly seeking out “confidence and control”. This obsessive approach to diet and exercise affords you neither. Rather than control it causes destruction. With a weary undernourished mind, it becomes delusional. Your delusion does not allow you to think straight, or focus in your activities of daily living. Your mind lacks insight into reality. Reality being that you cannot see your self-destruction. Your once healthy mind becomes sad. Your sadness further re-enforces those embedded personal insecurities. Your body becomes tired. Your body is a vehicle that drives you through life. Without sufficient fuel, and when it becomes over worked, it will break down.

Whilst you may’ve reached what your mindset sees as the “body beautiful”, to you, it will never be enough. Like banging your head against a wall you will keep going and, going. There will be no end. Without exception your insecurities will always be there. Obtaining the body beautiful will not buy you a ticket into confidence!

Real beauty comes from an acknowledgement of your inner beauty and an acceptance of your flaws. When you listen to loved ones as they attempt to re-inforce your positive traits:
Your talents, charisma, compassion and uniqueness. Although you may stop to listen, it’s when you hear these words, and realise that they are not just words but;

Truth.

-When you realise No"body" is perfect.

-When you allow balance into your life in a holistic manner.

-When you finally slow down to visit your inner self.

-When you re-introduce yourself to your long lost inner wonders.

Upon these discoveries is when you will shine and recognise your own unique

Real Beauty.

Today, I lay myself bare (the scariest part)

Whilst I have had much positive feedback regarding this blog, people have looked down upon me, saying "You are a baby, only 30, what would you know?". 

I have seen more in my 30 years than what most will see in their entire life.

My knowledge and wisdom gifted to me from my life experience should not, and will not be wasted, and as such, I will share it.

Now, I will lay myself bare, to give you an insight. (Deep breaths)

Phew, here I go:

Like you I was born pure into a life without purity. As a child I grew up witnessing destruction, things that no child should ever have to see. 

My father was a broken man, but deep inside his cracks I saw parts of him other than his illness. I saw his charm, his humour, his compassion, and love for his children and family. I saw his deep seeded wanting to free himself from his illness, to be better. Don’t get me wrong I despised what  his illness did to him, and those surrounding him, but I also saw his goodness, his kindness and his love.

Moving forward, my mum found enough inner strength to leave my father. Now a single parent doing it tough to support three children, she was the pillar of strength, and heart that saw us through the nastiest of times. Although I saw her at breaking point many times, she did it. She succeeded.

My father re-married. Inclusive of their meeting and marriage, he and his new wife knew each other for two months in total. With a strange inner “knowing” beyond my years, I cherished those times with my father. His illness and destruction aside, he was a barrel of fun, laughter, gags and cuddles. That was when he was well.

His life was lost at the hands of another. This act of violence would later transcend into a media frenzy. My life, my father's life, my mother's life, our lives, and his death displayed in the living rooms of all of Australia for months to come.

Throughout his widow's trial, it was my father who was actually on trial. It was a weak act given that he was not there to defend himself. Constituent to her lawyers defence, that his widow had "Battered wife's syndrome", my mother was forced, by law, to act as her witness. Whilst her alleged illness may have been the case; he, my father had a long standing illness, and should have had the opportunity to get better, to be better; an opportunity he was denied. Whilst his healing may not have happened, no one has the right to take that opportunity away from anybody.

Each and every life is precious!

No one has the right to take that away!

The trial established a legal precedent and the formidable reputation of his widows lawyer.

As a consequence of the trial and the national exposure, I found myself bullied at school. I had  nightmares. A rift between the two sides of the family developed lasting twenty years. (Understandably, it was a tough time for all concerned.)

I managed to block out all from my young past, buried deep within me. The brain is powerful like that. However, it is somewhat destructive because if you don’t allow that stuff to escape, it’ll force its way out eventually.

I plodded along happily through high school achieving mostly “A” grades, until I reached year 10 when a small incident saw a recurrence of the bullying. It was harsh. I can remember opening my locker one day and having an entire bin tipped over my head accompanied by laughter from onlookers, and my so called “friends” sheepishly walk away in fear that if they would be seen with me, that they may also become victims of the derision. Abandoned by my "friends", the remainder of the year I spent isolated, alone. They would be consumed into the hoards of followers stalking me. One day, with the “bully” leading the pack they echoed threats that they would “kick the shit out of me”.

I stood alone, at the mercy of the pack of sheep, a teacher came to my rescue and scurried the crowd along.

Another day, I sat in the front row, being assaulted with ever increasingly vicious verbal attacks , along with coke bottles and other rubbish thrown from their hands directly at my head. 

ENOUGH! 

In an explosion of rage, I stood tall. With the tiniest amount of strength within me I physically up ended my desk onto the floor. Amidst a shower of text books, pens and pencils, I stormed out of the class room, and marched out of that school, never to return. 

Not long after, through the midst of loneliness, and lack of control in my life, I saw myself develop an eating disorder. Yes, some negative words from others in regards to my physical appearance was the initial switch that turned it on, but, on a holistic level (the eating disorder) was a way of me controlling, The last thing in my life, that I could control - my food intake.

Like an addiction, it took hold of me, my being, my insight, my everything. With not only my body starved of nutrients, my brain was also, I became deeply sad.

Clutching the only two things I had, a bag of clothing, and my eating disorder, I left home at the age of 16, got a job and found a place to live.

As my illness progressed, it ultimately saw me lose my job, spending time on friend’s couches, I had nowhere else to go. I was homeless. I remember living in a band room in the back of a pub for a while.

I lied, I stole, and I was arrested. I was unwell and found myself back at home for a short period. My mother bribed me to attend an eating disorders clinic.

Eventually, I began to find myself, I got better (in a physical sense), the mind set of an eating disorder takes a little more time to recover from. A few years later I found myself fully recovered. 

 I soon started a career in nursing. Only months after finding myself at home, I moved out again and lived for a number of years on a training wage of $10 per hour.

During that time there were the usual personal “tragedies”, love and loss, death of relatives, a stalker (yes one of those), a first-hand account of the Bali bombings, acts of terrorism and other very personal, and dark situations within my life. 

Along with this, over the span of my entire life, like many others, I was confronted and temporarily lost through harsh and negative words by others: "You can’t do it", "you will never be loved", "you are at the bottom of the food chain", "you will never amount to anything, you are stupid. More words that found me off track for a while: "You need money and education for that", "you really need to settle down"," get a man", "have babies", "save for a house".

There was a small time in my life were I used alcohol to numb my mind from those words. I did not see that as an addiction at the time because I saw myself as having control. I did not have the need to drink at work or through the day, or if I had no money to buy alcohol I was not affected and did not have the need to scavenge around to find some.
It was like a crutch that held me up, that numbed my brain when my thoughts, or their thoughts were the most active within my mind in the quiet hours of the evening. It (the alcohol) helped  to switch my mind off and drift to sleep.

There were also many a time, where, like many others, I knocked myself down, and told myself" I couldn't", "I wasn't good enough". I asked myself, "Why me?"

Only recently, through a chain of events I came to a realisation. It was like a moment of enlightenment, all that information came to me in a second. I remember that time vividly.

• I was always on the right track. I needed to get lost to find me. I was in pursuit of finding myself all along.
• My negative thoughts, were not mine, or who I was, but negative words from others and past experiences absorbed within me. They were not me.
• The only path to true happiness is to not listen to others, but yourself. I am not a “conformer”. I am me, and aside from a few temporary de-railings as a result of life and society I was always in pursuit of ME!
• The tragedies marked throughout my life gifted me insight well beyond my years, and a strength that cannot be broken, along with a fire that will not be put out.
• Thanks to my past life, I feel like the luckiest girl alive!!
• The circumstances behind my fathers death was not his legacy, but we (his fabulous children) are that, because we are a piece of  his good qualities. Like his amazing family, that share them too, his "better" qualities are a piece of them. I met most of them all recently by the way, and as such, I know this for a fact! I love them all very much!
• If I have come through what I have,  standing now, unscathed and level headed, I can do and achieve anything! Every piece of me now is entirely reflective of my true being.
• My  current friends embrace all that I am.
• Some friends in my life who do not embrace themselves, who cannot see their potential; I can, I help them see, because this is the meaning of my true existence!
• My job allows me to share my compassion for others. 
• My project, Real Inspirations, highlights all people, like me, who have overcome, endured, achieved, to be better, to be their true selves! Those people, and their light, should always be celebrated and NOT knocked down! My book will celebrate them!
• This, my blog, allows me my voice, my knowledge, to help others to see that if I can, then they can too!

I will always shine my light so that people can see that.

Although I already feel like one, soon, without fear, I will

Stand As a Rock Star………..

(STAY TUNED)

Under Pressure.

I’ve seen myself get lost within the funnel of a tornado. Its ill-informed views pounded into me by society and those close. In my whirlwind this information twists around my thoughts. I try to batten down the hatches but the tornado's force becomes too powerful.

 This  whirlwind of external information overpowers my own thoughts. These imposters dwell within my mind, until the pressure crushes my inner self.

I confuse their information with my own thoughts resulting in me ploughing forward in denial.

I conformed, they were happy, but I was not.

With thanks to their pressure!

I liken their pressure to a Tornado because this ultimately becomes destructive to your life and who YOU really are.

You subconsciously seek out to destroy your life because it is not your own. You numb or distract yourself whatever way you know how further blocking out your OWN thoughts.

Why lie to yourself and others?

There came a time when I had to stop lying to me. I had to be bold. There was only one thing that I could do.

Get Naked!

I lay myself bare and slowly remove one piece at a time.

Yes, like strip poker, but, minus the poker and the removal of clothing attire.

Bit by bit and piece by piece I removed those imposters, all superficial stuff, and people that once pressured me.

I stood bare to lose everything, but, whilst bare I stood in celebration of my own glory. At first I was cold and alone. I moved forward and embraced my own self for warmth.

That didn’t matter because that pressure could’ve seen me lose

ME!

The most devastating loss of all!

http://youtu.be/BWdLt3Afjrg


*This post contains extracts from my life that I choose to share. I am not suggesting that you change your life. If you choose to do as such then those that are a immediately a part of you (a good example would be children ) should always be considered with much thought, and compassion in an equal manner to yourself.

I will survive.

About a year ago I was walking down to my favourite haunt with my dearest friend. An elderly woman approached us and hands out a pamphlet from which she quoted.
“Without God, you will not survive”.

Generally speaking my brain pauses and ticks over in anticipation for an appropriately witted response, but today, genius rolls out of my mouth.

I handed the pamphlet back and announced, “I will survive. As long as I know how to love, I know I will be alive”.

My friend who is rarely rude mannered, walked away in fits of laughter, whilst I stood quite shocked and chuffed with my unusually quick witted response.

In most circumstances I would never knock down someone’s religious views, but, my words that day spoke true to me.

Here are my views that I will share without prejudice for you.

I believe that most religious groups often teach you to have faith in their god, but what they do not teach you is sufficient tools to have faith in yourself. Whilst your religious group may help to a degree YOU are the only person that ultimately aids in your own survival.

YOU are at the forefront of your life’s battles and adventures.

YOU, will always be there,

For you.

And that’s a certainty!

It took time but with work I found that I am my own chapel, because my own faith is within ME!
Personally, I cannot have faith in something that I have not physically seen, however, what I have seen is;
My own drive, endurance, strength, talents, passion and love for myself and others.
I will always have faith in that
Because I have always seen me through!
I will survive,

As long as I know how to love (me),

I know I will be ALIVE!

http://youtu.be/Tth-8wA3PdY



*This post contains my views. This post does not mean that I disrespect yours.

The Dark Horse.

And they’re racing.

She bounds out of that starting gate, with hurdles and obstacles afoot. Galloping forward with perseverance as she heads down her track. The dark horse leaps with great power over her first hurdle but instead collides with it and tumbles.

With race goers unwilling to pick the dark horse up, they instead stride forward in their own race without looking back.

They have only “the win” in sight.

She picks herself up, and bolts forward, she is last in her pack with all odds placed against her. Bets and wealth are thrown towards the most likely, well bred, and trained of horses.

Her odds are slim.

A deep trench is near, but with one knock she dives within its pit. With blood, sweat and tears she scrambles out. LAST! Without any other horse in sight.

She almost gives up, until, 

a miracle.

Her spirit jumps up from her chair in the grandstand and with pride marchers to the barrier fence. Her spirit cheers,

“YES YOU CAN”!

Her spirits voice echoes and has the crowd captivated. They cheer alongside her spirit, the dark horse becomes captivated too. She sprints, and leaps high over all obstacles that are presented before her. She gallops forward and towards her competitors.

All bets are off now.

Dashing past and ahead, only the dust that rises from her force leaves a memory of her once left behind. Her dust blinds her fellow competitors and instead sees them tumble, but she takes note to see them through.

She is in the lead, with the finish line in sight.

Her crowd becomes inspired.

“YES YOU CAN”

Although, she has not quite won yet her spirit and the crowd continue to cheer her on.

She is already a winner.

The dark horse always WINS!

Another Real Inspirations Highlight

At Real Inspirations we continue to grow beyond our imaginations and wildest dreams, and we're not quite finished yet.

Please click on the link below and read our latest article in Australia and NZ wide magazine NCAH.
American Publishing Company "Informed" also tweeted this article too. Woooo!
http://www.ncah.com.au/news-events/nurses-inspire-with-real-inspirations/1163/


Do you have any relevant stories to share? Email Yvette- realinspirations@rocketmail.com